You're My First and Last
by PopMyHeart
Summary: He made a decision that will change their lives forever. 5 years later, they met again. But they never expected to see each other... infont of the church's altar. Does the decision he made years ago, worth it? Find out. - AU. Oneshot! Please R&R!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gakuen Alice. All rights is given to the great, Higuchi Tachibana. But the plot is mine... all mine.

**A/N:** Hello there! I made another OneShot! But this one would be tragic. I repeat, this would be a tragic story. Read for pleasure!

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><p>"<em>I don't think this is not going to work out." <em> Natsume said, staring the ground as if it's the most wonderful thing in the world.

"_Why… don't you love me, Natsume? Don't you love me? Tell me!"_ Mikan demanded an answer from him. She's crying right now. Her heart is starting to swell. One second or two, she might faint due to depression.

**Natsume Hyuuga and Mikan Sakura.**

Way back in high school, they were the most popular couple in their batch. Thinking they were perfect, people admire them. They served as the shining star to the other couples in their batch. Why not? They fight like cats and dogs, treat each other as best friends, and love each other as husband and wife. They don't like PDA's, for them, talking is a good way to show their love.

But every story comes to an end. They need to end it. This was bound to come to an end, sooner or later.

"_That's not it. You can't understand why. You'll never understand. "_ Natsume said, looking from afar, his elbows resting on his knees. Tears are threatening to come down in his crimson eyes.

"_Then let me understand you! That's why we're together, isn't it? We're together to support each other! What's your problem, huh? Is there any? Tell me, Natsume! Tell me!" _Mikan said, trying to clear the words she wants to say, but failed. She was welcomed with the feeling of sorrow in her heart.

"_I've made a decision that will change my life. A decision that will change everything. It includes you and me. I need to do this. I need to. " _He looked at her straight in her eyes. It breaks him, seeing the love of his life crying in front of him. Much worse, it's because of him.

"_Then what is it? Will you tell me? 'Cause I'll never let you step away from me without giving me a concrete reason why are you doing this to me! I love you Natsume…."_ She said while totally breaking down. She can't speak anymore, but she needs to. _"… And it hurts me the fact that you want to end everything between you and me… us."_

He can't take it anymore. His feelings… it's trying to control him. Without thinking, he stood up from his seat, pulled Mikan towards him and kissed her passionately.

He kissed her as it was the last time he'll do this. And yes, it would be his last time to kiss her. She was his first love, and definitely would be the last love of his life. She was his first kiss, and definitely would be the last one. She's everything he wanted to have. He was thankful to have her… just for a very brief of time.

He kissed all his feelings towards her. He can feel the tears she let out awhile ago, the tears that would forever bring guilt to his heart all throughout his life until his last breath. He kissed her to the fullest, telling her that she is the _firsts_ and _lasts _of his life.

He finally broke it. He cupped her cheeks and wiped away the tears that were continuously making way to her cheeks. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks… and for the last time, her lips once again. He then hugged her very tightly, not wanting to let go. He loves her. Her and only her.

"_I love you, Natsume…"_ Mikan managed to say in between sobs. She doesn't want to let go of the man who knocked her heart out. He was her_ firsts_ and _lasts._ She vowed to herself that she'll forever love this man. She'll cherish him with her whole life. It just pained her why is he doing this to her.

"_I love you…"_ Natsume said, and finally, tears made way on his eyes. The tears that he have kept for years, finally made way. He can't stop it. He demanded this thing between them. He has to do this for the both them. It is for the best.

_"Please don't do this… Please…"_ Mikan said weakly. She's like a fragile glass right now, so hard to let go.

Natsume was the one who broke the hug, _"I'm sorry."_ Those were the last word he said before he faced his back on her and walked away from her… _forever._

Mikan knelt down, cannot control her sorrows anymore. She let her tears out, never knowing when it will stop. She felt broken seeing the retreating figure of her love… _her one and only love._

He managed to look back after he was sure that she can't see him. He saw her broke down in her knees and cried. He punched the nearest tree trunk, letting his anger flowed out. Seeing the blood trickling down in his knuckles, he stopped. He rested his head on his arms on the tree's trunk, feeling broken.

… _And from that moment on, the hearts that once stayed together, separated forever._

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><p>"<em>Baka, just this once, will let your smile out?"<em> Hotaru said to her best friend who was looking her image in the vanity closet prepared by the hotel.

"_Hotaru, how could I smile in a moment like this? I don't want to fool myself. Why would I smile if I feel like dying?" _Mikan said, staring the image of her best friend in the mirror she is facing.

"_You're not dying. Living in a prison, maybe. But not dying." _Hotaru said while fixing her veil.

"_Today is the day I'll be marrying a man I never loved. It feels like dying. No, I don't feel like one, I am one." _Mikan said, while clenching her fist.

It has been 5 years since that incident. The whole gang knew what happened to the relationship between Mikan and Natsume. Eveyone was shocked. They loved each other, why did they end it?

Mikan's life had been miserable. At the first weeks, she didn't want to eat, go out, or to talk anymore. She's like a living dead, not wanting to continue life anymore. Hotaru became sick of this. She went to Mikan's apartment, and she slapped her, straight in the face, as the moment they saw each other. Hotaru want to help her best friend. She wants her to see the light again.

Slapping hard by her best friend, she was thankful that Hotaru came that day to save her from the death of her life. Mikan managed to gain back her cheerfulness, but she never wear the smile she usually wears everyday. Hotaru and the gang understand this, and just let her be.

"_Excuse me, Miss Hotaru and Miss Mikan, Mister Ruka is outside. Would I let him in?"_ says a red-hired girl, Mikki. She is Mikan's hair and make-up stylist for the today.

"_Yes, yes, let her in, Mikki."_ Mikan said. Then a fine young man appeared in the door. Ruka was now Hotaru's boyfriend and still a very good friend of Mikan. When he learned the breakup of the two, he wanted to confront Natsume. Natsume said he doesn't want to talk about it. He let him by himself at first, but after weeks, he tried to contact him again, but to no avail, he can't reach him.

"_You look beautiful in that gown, Mikan_." Ruka said with a smile to his friend. He knows what Mikan is feeling right now. She was against this marriage. All of them were against this marriage. If only he could do anything…

_"Thank you, Ruka. You look handsome in your tux, too._" Mikan manage to say with a a small smile.

"_Nuh, if it's not for this day. I wouldn't bother to wear this. It's not as if it's an important day for all of us, right?" _Ruka said. Hotaru glared her.

"_You won't really know the importance of a wedding day for a woman like her. Wedding is one's woman's dream. Don't you dare say it's not important!"_ Hotaru continually gave Ruka her glares.

"_Don't joke with me, Hotaru. This might be a wedding day, but this is not our dream. This is not Mikan's dream. You very well knew that fact!"_ Ruka said.

"_Don't you dare oppose me, Nogi. Or you'll never ever experience the sweetness of a marriage. Would like it?" _Hotaru said to his boyfriend. Ruka chuckled nervously.

"_Hey, hey! I'm near of proposing you! Don't you dare to say no when I propose to you! It was my long dream to marry someone exotic like you!"_ Ruka defensively said.

"_Exotic? Hey there, bunny boy. Do you really want to taste the feeling of being married? Or want me to breakup with you right now?"_ Hotaru was pissed.

"_I love you. Marry me someday, ok?"_ Ruka said sweetly, and then he hugged his girlfriend. Hotaru, giving a small smile, gave in to his hug.

"_You two look like lovebirds. You're making me jealous here, don't you see?"_ Mikan butted in two the two lovers. She was happy on what's going on with her friends. After seeing their little love fight, Mikan wished that she could do that with Natsume.

_Natsume._

She hasn't heard any news from his since their breakup 5 years ago. She wants to know his condition, but she better not, because it might pain her healing heart again.

She still loves him. But she can't be with him anymore. He's the one who broke the thing between them. But she'll never ever forgot the day he said _'I love you'_ to her for the very last time. She knew that he still loves her. The way he kissed her for the very last time proves it. She just doesn't understand why Natsume need to end things.

"_You miss him?"_ Hotaru said in between her thoughts.

"_Huh? Who?"_ Mikan reacted fastly.

"_Don't play dumb with me. You know who I'm talking about_." Hotaru said.

"_And you know what will I reply to you. Why bother asking when it's obvious?"_ Mikan defensively said. She let out a small smile.

"_And I wonder if I'll ever see your smile reaching your ears."_

"_Maybe when you accepted Ruka's proposal, and make me your maid of honor in your wedding!"_

They both let out a small laughed.

**RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!**

"_Yes?"_ Ruka answered his phone call. _"Oh, Koko! What now?"_

"_Man! This is bad! Really, really bad! We need to take away Mikan from the wedding!" _Koko answered in the other line.

Sensing it was a bad news, _"Hotaru, Mikan, I'll just get this phone call from Koko. See you in the church! And Mikan? Smile for us, just this once."_ Ruka said with a smile. _"Gotta go, bye!" _ Then he closed the door.

As Ruka made a way out from the two ladies, he immediately put his phone in his ear. _"What are you saying? The ceremony will begin in 30 minutes!"_

"_That's it! You need to get Mikan out from all of this in 30 minutes! We only have 30 friggin' minutes to save Mikan's life!" _Koko said.

"_What are you saying? Did insanity take your head away? Care to explain?"_

"_Listen, we saw an unexpected person here. The least person Mikan wanted to see."_

"_Who? Her groom? We all know that fact. Don't be in hysterics, man. That's not good."_

"_No! You don't understand! Know what; go here in the church already to see it for yourself!"_

"_I'm making my way now there. Well now, would you care to tell me what or who did you saw?" _Ruka is being puzzled the way Koko delivered the news. Then he heard Koko sighed.

"_Dude, Natsume's here."_

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><p>"<em>Miss Mikan, the bridal car is there. Miss Hotaru, you were asked to come with Miss Mikan in the church using the bridal car also."<em> The hotel's manager interrupted their little chat to deliver that news.

_"Ok, we'll be there."_ Hotaru said, then the door was shut.

"_Well, Hotaru? Here comes death."_ Mikan said playfully.

"_If it's death that you were about to face, then please die peacefully."_ Hotaru replied. Both of them let out a small laugh.

**RRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!**

"_Wait there."_ Hotaru said to Mikan and went to the balcony to answer her phone.

"_What now, Bunny Boy?"_ Hotaru said irritably.

"_You gotta get out Mikan in there. In here. In everything!" _Ruka said in the other line.

"_We were about to get out of this hotel, you moron. We're on our way."_ Hotaru replied.

"_That's not what I'm talking about! Mikan should escape from the wedding!" _

"_Do I need to lecture you more about one of woman's biggest dream?"_

"_Natsume's here." _

She froze. But she managed to reply. _"So what? Maybe he's a guest. Don't be hysterical, you baka."_

Ruka beat it. _"He's not __**just**__ a normal person in this wedding!"_

"_Hotaru! Mikki said we need to hurry up! The devil dressed in a wedding tux is very worried. " _Mikan approached Hotaru in the balcony.

"_I need to hang up. Explain to me everything later." _Then she shut her phone. She can now feel the pressure this day would give to everyone. She can't understand what does her boyfriend wanted to tell to her. Why does Mikan need to escape from the arranged wedding?

Though she may have a doubtful heart about what's going to happen, she led Mikan. _"Let's go."_

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><p>Today is the dreadful day Mikan feared to come<em>; to vow in front of the altar with the man he doesn't and would never love. <em>This was arranged. Her father's company had a big debt to pay to a company her _soon-to-be husband_ owned. Seeing that their company was at big stake, the man arranged a marriage proposal, telling that it would be the payment for their debt. Her father was shocked to this, even him don't want to sell his daughter to the man she will never love. But he can't let their company suffer, knowing that many workers will be left unemployed if they shut it down due to a big debt.

Mikan, understanding their situation, was the one who insisted to pursue the proposal. She loves her father so much that's why she let the proposal happen. And also, though she may not love the man right now, maybe she can love him when the time comes. She can use the marriage as an escape in Natsume's memory, too.

The bridal car halted, signaling that they're in the front of the church were the wedding will happen. _"We're here. Here goes nothing, Hotaru."_ Mikan muttered. Sadness was evident in her eyes.

"_Are you sure you want this to happen? I can kill your bridal car driver right now and take the wheel. I'll hide you somewhere faraway from here." _Hotaru said. She was still bugged by the thought that she'll meet his past lover Natsume. What bothers her most is that Ruka said that he's not just a normal person in the wedding.

"_You want to make me smile throughout the ceremony, don't you? Ok, I will. Just don't say those ridiculous things."_ Mikan chuckled.

"_I'm serious here, you baka! It's a wedding! You're wedding! You're not happy with this. I know you." _Hotaru said.

"_Though it makes me happy, or not. It doesn't matter. My father needs this. I love him that's why I'll be doing this."_ Mikan said, lowering her head. _"… And besides, my happiness left me, 5 years ago."_

"_I really don't know why life decided to play upon you…" _Hotaru pulled Mikan in to a hug, soothing her feeling. _"Why does it have to be you?"_

"_I guess… God plans this." _Mikan said. Tears flowed out from her eyes.

"_Baka, stop crying! You'll ruin your face."_ Hotaru grabbed her tissue in his pouch and dump it in Mikan's eyes and cheeks. After doing that, she said, _"Just brace yourself on what is about to happen. I wish for your happiness." _She hugs her again.

"_Thanks, Hotaru. You're God's gift to my messed-up life." _ Mikan hugged her back.

"_I know."_ She then broke their hug, _"I'll step out now."_ She then reaches the car's door then she stepped out. But before she slam back the door, she said_, "Smile, you baka."_ Then she shuts the door.

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><p>Mikan's door opened, and she was escorted to get out. <em>It's finally the time,<em> she thought.

She climbed the stairs to reach the church entrance. When she reached the last step, she took a deep breath. The music started to play, signaling that the wedding march started.

She's feeling nervous, her heart started to race. As if there'll be a unexpected event to happen.

She's now in the beginning of the aisle, and she scanned the whole area. Her friends were looking at her sadly. She thought that just like her, they don't want this wedding. But there's nothing they can do about. It was done. Then she landed her eyes on the alter that made her break down.

Seeing in the altar was the man she loved for the past years. The man she never learned to forget. The man that never returned her heart to its home. There she saw the love of her life.

**Natsume.**

He was waiting for her in the altar, all dressed up.

She can't take what she's seeing right now. Her tears flowed out right there and then, the time she landed her eyes on him. The feeling of brokenness ate her up. She broke down in her current position and cried her heart's out. She's feeling that it's just a dream , a dream she wanted to end right now. Her friends rushed to her spot to comfort her. They knew this will happen, they didn't expect the worst.

She then took a look back in the altar, hoping she won't see him there, that this was just an illusion. But he was still there, waiting.

Mikan saw Natsume in the altar, waiting.

He was all dressed up. And just like what her friends saw, he was attending the wedding not just a normal person.

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He was there standing in front of an altar table. He was dressed with a white alb, together with a green stole broad. Beside him was a sacristan to guide him in the ceremony. In front of him laid a big book, it was a Bible.

He saw Mikan, the love of his life that he exchanged to serve for Christ.

Once again, guilt ate him. He wants to run to her side to comfort her.

_But the damage has been done, there's nothing they can do about. _

She left her to serve as a priest, to serve the Lord.

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"_I'm sorry… Mikan. I'm sorry."_

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><p><strong>AN1:** I warned you, isn't it? I hope I did a good one in making this a tragic one. Well, this is really heartbreaking. Seeing your love in the altar, as a priest. What broke my heart while writing this is the fact that Natsume can't turn back now. Well, here goes life.

**A/N2**: An **alb** is the dress the priest is wearing for masses. They could be in white or black, depending on the event. A **stole broad** is like the thing the priest put in their necks. Each stole's color has corresponding clerical events.

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Did you cry?

Did you cried your heart's out?

Did you like it?

Let me know! Please make a review! It would make me really, really happy! Pretty please? :)

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**PopMyHeart. _050311 _**


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